I do not deny the fact that i have been neglecting this blog. Neither would i deny the fact that i have not been keeping in touch with alot of people. I have been to busy, with college and wushu. This two stuff occupied most of my time.

I am going to make this post short. Just a short post until i am free. Soon hopefully. Next two weeks is my mid-year, and i would have a two weeks break after that. I would be free except 1-3 June. Anyone, want to go out and meet up?Talk, drink, watch a movie?

A lot of people are updated about happening in college, rite? Sam does a good job as a reporter still. =p

My crazy dad is more enthusiastic about my results than I am. He actually took 15 copies of the Sun. Talk about obsessive. He called me more than 10 times from yesterday since i got my results. He keeps calling and calling, and asking and telling, i am going to have a headache soon.

People who are greedy are never satisfied with what they have. They just want more, more than what they have.Even though it is adequate, they are never happy. They become more unhappy as they dont get what they want. Why those such people exist? Why can people just be content with what they have? Why?Why? I feel tired with all the chasing and competing, yet I refuse to give up. Is this what they call 'kiasu'? Or you just want to try your best when you are attempting something?

I feel a sense of relief and solace, now that the results are out. But, there is still something, but i dont know wha tis it. Hopefully, this would be the past. Yet, it determines the future. I need to let it go.

Wow, i cooked a proper meal today. What an achievement! Although this home cook food is not healthy at all, with extra oil and extremely salty. I guess it is not bad for a first timer, as i didnt burn the whole kitchen down.

Things i learned:

1. Never throw a fish into a frying pan. This could cause a pool of oil.
   
2. Never try toflip a fish when u are a yard away from the pan, u cant flip it.
   
3. Wear gloves and cover your hand when you are frying a pan.
4. Never let my sister cook. She tends to throw everytying in, salt, soya sauce, oyster sauce, pati ayam....apparently to add taste.
   
5. Never trust her when it comes to cooking.Lousy pandu puteri.
6. Try not to make a mess out of the kitchen.

Definitely this is one of the worst meal i eaten.Hopefully i dont grow skinnier in this one month. It is impossible to gain weight. And i seriously have to gain weight, just in case i really go Australia next year. I dont want to get blown away by the wind. It almost happened to my sister, she felt like she was going to fly, and she is heavier than me.

It was last year since i last blogged. I guess my old sickness is back; too lazy to blog. Well, i did not see the need to blog. I do not need to release any suppressed anger or tension, unlike last year. And i am sort of too occupied with college, with the work and everyting.

When i started college this year, i felt i was rushing through it. A part of me felt like starting college, but another part of me felt like waiting and chilling. I needed more time to relax after SPM(can't consider the one month after SPM, i was busy most of the time). I needed more time to recoup. i ignored the feeling. But this feeling became stronger when the tests came. I felt lost and stress again, i felt like quiting everything and just do nothing. Obviously there is no way my dad would let me do it. One thing i was sure that the 4 Dec deja vu left an impact on me. But one way or another, i need to confront this feeling. I guess this only was to succumb this fear is on the March 12. Everything will have to end then.


Sam is calling everyone 'lansi'. Wonder when she started with that word. I was another victim of her besides F. I was innocent and did nothing.
S: I need one more mark. You spare me one mark la.
L: Take lo. Doesn't matter.
S: Not that it is possible anyway.
Next thing i know it she is telling everyone about this. You do the judging, am i 'lansi'?
(0mission or change of words shall be excused)

Old habits die hard. I agree with this saying. Sam habit of promoting my marks to everyone in CBN has been brought to Taylors. She is still promoting my marks for me. NO! Worst of all, she is not in my class, so now her class knows everything. Even my classmates dont make such a big deal over it.

I guess in life there always will be disappointment.No one life can be perfect.No one could win everything.There's always ups and downs.

Somehow i just feel disappointed that i didn't get what i wanted.Fine.Maybe i was not so eager or desperate to get it.But i did put in the effort.I can't help to feel disappointed and anger rising inside me.I just feel pissed.Maybe this certain someone did contributed to it subconciously.And maybe it's also i know that i can't get my scholarship(JPA) based on my SPM results,since i bloody screwed up the papers.And my hopes for getting straight A1's diminished the day i ended my SPM.

I admit I am skinny.When went to white river rafting in Sabah,the current was so strong that i could not even stand on the water.I kept tripping.The guy in charged had to hold me and dragged me over to the mmiddle of the stream.I know i was light but not that light.

But Sabah was fun.It was cold at least.When i came back to KL,it was hot hot hot all over again.

This whole week had been hectic for many of us.Jill,Seok,Fern and I weren't at home most of time.Jill and Fern went to Genting early of this week,followed by Penang while Seok went Genting with them then went to the Petronas EduCamp.While I went to the Petronas EduCamp then Penang with Jill,Fern and Sam.It was kinda sad that Seok didnt get to come with us to Penang because of the camp but scholarship more important.We had loads of fun though.

10-12 December 2006
I went for the Petronas EduCamp in Universiti Teknologi Petronas(UTP) in Tronoh,Perak(some secluded area which i guess none of you all heard of).UTP was really big.You would not have expected that such a building would exist in that secluded area.The buildings were immense and nice.On the other hand,going to an educamp a week after SPM was not the best idea.=s We had to stay in the hostel,infest with insects and bugs.Yuck,disgusting.And worst,they had no hot water.It was really cold bathing in the morning,7am.4 other CBNers were there too.YL,Jean,Azhan,and Sang.Everyone was so enthusiastic about this camp.

First day was group acticity,where we were seperated into groups.All 5 of us were in different groups.We made our logo,motto and name.Then we were required to think out of the box,and think the many usage of a fire extinguisher,which the answers were absurd.Then we took this test where we were suppose to assume we were lost in a desert and the nearest camp is 70 miles away.We were to number the importance of each item.Based on that we could have an idea whether we were going to survive or not in that desert.All of us K.O. and would die in that desert.Then at night we were to tell a story about our success(non academic).I talked about our class drama,about the conflicts and everything.

Second day was boring.We had to take an English Proficiency Test,listen to some career talk and take a critical thinking test.It was like SPM all over again.And it was only 1 week after SPM.Third day was my interview.I wore a skirt and blouse.I just realised it has been a long time since i actually wore a skirt.Years actually.Wow.Can't believe that.

I came home just in time for my mom's birthday.13th of Decemeber.It was an one day gap before i leave to Penang.Hectic.I had to go to Taylors to settle the first semester payment,pack my luggage and go Sunway for dinner.

14-16 December 2006
Penang was really fun.We were at the beach and the pool most of the time.While Jill wanted a tan(which she did got her tan) i got burned!Fine i am Candle Princess(Puteri Lilin).I don't like sun burn.It is just painful.It was hilarrious though.We were migrating from one chair to another just to avoid the sun while playing 'Cho Tai Di'(we got addicted to that card game).

Then we sat on the banana boat,"heong jiu shuin".We had loads of fun on that.Fearing that there are loads of jellyfish in the sea,we were so afraid that the boat will capsize that we were screaming and shouting when we were turning like some mad person.Come to think of it,it was funny and dumb but thrilling.No regrets going on that.We also found this place filled with rocks in the shades at the beach.It sort of became our spot and they(Jill,Sam and fern) was camwhoring as usual in their bikini.I was the only one without a bikini.

In this trip,Fern had many of her 'first times'.It was her first time sitting on the banana boat,first time playing fooseball and first time playing Bishi Bashi(i think),and got really confused with all the buttons.We also played hours of 'Cho Tai Di' and few games of Life,but managed to complete 2 games only.In the game of Life,Jill was a realy rich policeofficer who broke the laws,while I was a bankrupt travel agent,earning 90k and owing people money.How saddening.I don't care, Jill,we have to play another time,hopefully you aren't so lucky.And I would keep my mouth shut for Sam before she kills me.We should also refrain from all the vulgar language ya.

I really hope that Penang trip would never end.We didn't even get to finish our gossip session.This just made me miss high school life and i don't want it to end.I want turn back time.But that's not possible.Would just appreciate the time we had.

I can't believe we just finished SPM 2 weeks ago.I feel like SPM was over months,ages ago.I feel so free.....

4 December 2006
A date to remember for life.A day where happiness was crushed with disappointment,just within an hour.This date was the day where all the form 5 Science stream student could shout,"Merdeka" with a shout of relief and exuberant.

Yet i was not even ecstatic when the other block was shouting and screaming their head off,or when they announced it was time to collect the paper.A wave of fear just ran through,and when i passed up my paper,i knew that i was screwed.I messed up the whole Biology paper 3.With my hopes of actually scoring in Biology just crushed,i went home,feeling distraught and down in the dumps.

What a way to celebrate the last day of a tiring day!What a way to conclude the whole year!What a way to end my schooling life!11 years of study! Wow,how devastating.

To those who just finished their SPM today,dont let my blog affect you.Go have a blast and enjoy your freedom to the max.


I feel more closer to you than ever.I feel that i have this bond with you that cannot be replaced.Yet somehow,there's just this gap between us which cannot be overcomed.I feel lost and confused at times.Feel like letting go,yet i cant.