Momentarily Independence

Thanks Sam for the extra publictiy,really appreciate it.To my fans?wth....Yes,Sam can be rather defiant and rebellious,opposing everything i ask.To Jill and Fern,no hard feeling for not telling you ya.It's just that my writing skills are not that good,more to terrible and horrendous.Iim not even exaggerating,giving myself extra credit somemore.So,hmm,sorry.I <3 you all.

One more day left and we will gain "independence".Fine,most of us consider today's paper as our last paper.Today was a hectic day.Biology paper 3,Accounts paper 1 and,last but not least,Chemistry paper 3.*phew* was I ever glad that today is over.

Two weeks ago,i was wondering how am i going to live through this day,another 2-hours-sleep or another sleepess nights?But nay,thanks to some extra information,i managed to sleep at 1.Somehow,my body got adjusted to my 2 hours sleep and i woke up at 5.5!!Damn. I changed during this whole exams.3 weeks ago,i would scoff at the idea of getting the papers or tips for the exams.First week was BM,English,Maths and Add Maths.The idea of getting tips never existed in my mind.During the 2nd week,whenever i come to school,people seems to give me the tips.5 minutes before the bloody exam.Dont see much use,but at least it is better than nothing.But inside me,there seems to be this anger arousing inside me,contempt towards those paper who actually knew,and especially those who actually have the paper and memorised the bloody answers.Somehow i managed to last through the week.A day before our history paper,someone sent me the tips for the history paper.I was really shocked at the moment,thinking whether i should just ignore it.My hunch was to keep the message,just incase.Then,on Sunday,i couldnt concentrate and study History at all.8pm and i havent start the form 4 syllabus at all.I panicked,in the verge of breaking down.I didnt know what to do,so i was desperate,i actually read the tips.I didnt really read the other topics,somehow flew through the whole book.I was rather grateful with the tips,without it,i think i would not even take the exam.And if i do not take this exam,there would be loads of trouble for me.So thanks to u,who gave me the tips.Im really grateful.Then the next day,was chemistry,there was tips too.I didnt ask for them,they was just sent over.But the tips was rather general,so it was not that bad.I didnt feel so guilty.Yesterday,went i came home,she sent to me the tips again.Besides her,there was another person.From 8.30 and 9.30,tips for Biology and Chemistry paper 3 was "going" in and out of my handphone.I was sms-ing near to 10 people at one shot.Receiving tips and sending them.At the end,there was so many similarities with the tips i received that i concluded what was coming out.And yes,it did came out exactly.I felt rather guilty though.Although i did read everything,just incase,but somehow,in my opinion,that is not how you take an exams.Walking into an examination hall with just the tips and memorising all of them just defeats the purpose of having exams.To many people,they probably roll their eyes and say,"Please,without the tips you would score in your papers anyway."But have they ever thought that that is not the point.It is better to mess up now then later in your SPM exams.As i said,i changed,i became desperate and depended on it.Why?All i can say is that i was lazy and studying last minute usually works for me,but not this time,there was just so many things and so little time.Time seems to be flying past and i became worried.Panicked.My mind was saying,'many people in my class knew what was coming out,even those "smart" people.So why should i not have the tips?there is no reason why.'But there is still this guilt and i felt bad.It is just wrong and not ethical.*sigh*

How obvious can the answer be?Philosophers and accountants,they have such vast difference.I cant believe they can actually ask to choose between Ptolemy,Plato,Luca Paciolli and Aristole.Sam and i just burst out laughing when we read the question.Hello?Duh,if anyone dont know this,you just made me speechless.

Pn Haida was in a sarcastic mood today.When she came in,she asked YL with full of surprise,sarcastic more like it,"You are taking the exam.Are you ready for the exam?"I was shocked.Ouch.How sarcastic can she be?Then she said,"I hope you will do well for the next exam.Full-swing.I dont blame you,most of your time spent last year was not in school." Imagine,saying it in front of the whole class,and everyone know what it meant.=s If it was me,i really dont know how to react.YL just calmly sit there,ignoring her.Pn Haida is mean.Ditto.

I feel so dumb.I made it so obvious that we knew what was coming out.Before the Chemistry paper 3,MX,Sam and i was reading Chem,how temperature affects the rate of reaction.Suddenly Pn Haida came over,and was looking at what we were reading.She said,'Not important'.Then,she started flipping the pages and closed my book,'Nothing you read now is important.Nothing is going to go in'.Fine,doesnt matter anyway,in fact,nothing was going in,the joy of taking the last paper.Then when we distributed the paper and told us about the correction,she said something like(not sure),"Now i know why all of you were reading the same page."Somehow,i think it is said to MX,Sam and I as we were reading the same page before the exams.So much for keeping a low profile and not letting the teachers.Dumb.

Ms Winnie was rather "cute" or "weird" during our Chemistry exam.At 12.45,some people finished the paper and wanted to sleep but she didnt let them.She announced to our class,"If you sleep,i am going to penalise 5 marks."Unbelievable?Yes,i know.But Ms Winnie actually means what she says so everyone sat up and started checking the paper.Sam caught my eye,and we starred at each other,full with bewilderment.So since they could sleep,they was asking her for the string to tie their paper,which she said she will only distribute the string at 12.55,in the meantime,we are to check our paper until we are sick of it.But i was thankful,spotted whole lot of question,seeing how i messed up this paper after correecting so many mistakes.=s Then after she collected our paper,we started talking about the paper.Ms Winnie,"No use talking about the papers,i have the answers" Swtz.=s She continued about how we should study during the holidays,explainning to us that she marked our paper 1 already,fast i know,compared us to 5K,sayiing our standard is near to each other.=s Sorry but i dont like the way teachers compare us to the other classes.They are not dumb,in fact they are rather smart,so we should not compare it this way,they can beat all of us too.

You disappoint me.I see no point if you are going to memorise everything.Study smart not study hard.Memorising everything,every single word,every single digit and every single calcualtion is not going to get you anywhere.You should try to understand what you are doing,and not do it blindly,self-application.It would help alot if you understand what you are doing and not by memorising.And if you are not ready for the exams,begging for question,getting exactly what is coming for the exams wont get you anywhere in the future.Sometimes you just disappoint me,you are smart,and you have a brilliant mind with a very good memory,but studying blindly or taking short cuts,is not a solution.

Thanks Jill for suggesting to put my picture.Gave me a shock of my life to see my picture up there.I was wondering why,not that i was the first or anything.I wanted to go find the culprit and kill her,but the killing part didnt come true.Maybe i should do that.=s I tell you,nobody is going to buy the pictures,you have my word.=p

I cant believe Sam actually got me to download the scrabble software.Damn.Scrabble freaks.*sigh* I am ok with scrabble dont exactly loathe it or anything,but i would definitely not be a hobby.It is just so wrong.Lets just say i dont go well with words and alphabets,numbers are more my thing.So Sam,if i suck in scrabble,sorry to disappoint you.

*Listening to Dont Stop Me Now by Queens.The song rox.*