I have been doubting my role an engineer, and the doubt is becoming more overwhelming than ever. I am more destructive than I am in constructive. Or maybe I am just a smart aleck, and reality hits right smack in the face.
This project has been a steep learning curve, compared to the previous two internship, this is actually the worst by date. At first I was still contemplating doing research in engineering, then I am rather certain of not doing it. My mom claims that once I complete this project the sense of achievement would change my mind. I have my qualms, seeing this project is not progressing on a positive note at all. But I cant foresee impending situations, and mom's best. Ill just keep my hopes up for the moment.
Now, I am even doubting my capability to be an engineer. Maybe I am just better off working with a computer and causing no damage to anything else. On another note, a job in IT seems more inviting than ever looking at the bleak future of me being an engineer.
I hope this is just all a phase. A phase I have to go through seeing I was certain ill be an engineer since young. Maybe it was influence. But I cant shake off this perturbing feeling. Maybe... Just maybe...
Peepz, don't worry. Ill survive... I always do... Hopefully I make a come back with a bigger bang :)
Friday, April 15, 2011
Monday, April 04, 2011
Time to catch a short breath
As a protest to the previous post i wrote that got deleted, I shall keep this short. No idea what I did, this is the second time this happened to me before.
Life is crazy albeit it is only week 5. The transition from year 1 to year 2 was exponential, then life took a break in year 3. Then 4th year surged to a new historic peak; final year project is always looming around, and the other electives are not easy, being rather theoretical and mathematical. The load increased ten-fold. But I guess its my final year, all these years, 15 years of studying is just for one piece of paper. I just want to get out of the student life. Everyone say once you start working you will miss the student life, but then again, not many wants to go back to student life.
Just a few updates:
Sydney is good, Melbourne is good too. I am rather torn between the two cities, both have it perks. Will see what the future holds for me.
Taking ENG 4700, as interesting as it sounds, the lecturer is too busy, he cancels half of his classes. In a way its good, I have more time on hand, with the hectic schedule I am having I can only be grateful. This unit its about Engineering technology. Sounds interesting and intriguing, but the 3 reports to be handed in is a major turn off. On the bright side, I'll be getting my hands dirty on Holography.
FYP is just piles n piles of never ending work. A robotic arm heals when it is working, its futile when it cant be controlled, but deadly when it is out of control. My FYP is plain perplexing. It is a never ending project, it is intricate. As cool as it looks, the problem is probably just as much. But since I have chosen it, i'll just embrace it and hopefully it works out without jeopardizing my future.
Went to watch Andrew Lloyd Webber theatrical event at Regents. It was a rather nice place, a lot more classy than the Princess (I think). We got cheap tickets, but had dress circle seating. It was a good show, did not know Andrew composed such many good songs. Then I heard that he has much scandals too, I guess people who are talented always have other issues.
Regent Theatre
Cookie time... An obese star-shaped cookie.
Life is crazy albeit it is only week 5. The transition from year 1 to year 2 was exponential, then life took a break in year 3. Then 4th year surged to a new historic peak; final year project is always looming around, and the other electives are not easy, being rather theoretical and mathematical. The load increased ten-fold. But I guess its my final year, all these years, 15 years of studying is just for one piece of paper. I just want to get out of the student life. Everyone say once you start working you will miss the student life, but then again, not many wants to go back to student life.
Just a few updates:
Sydney is good, Melbourne is good too. I am rather torn between the two cities, both have it perks. Will see what the future holds for me.
Taking ENG 4700, as interesting as it sounds, the lecturer is too busy, he cancels half of his classes. In a way its good, I have more time on hand, with the hectic schedule I am having I can only be grateful. This unit its about Engineering technology. Sounds interesting and intriguing, but the 3 reports to be handed in is a major turn off. On the bright side, I'll be getting my hands dirty on Holography.
FYP is just piles n piles of never ending work. A robotic arm heals when it is working, its futile when it cant be controlled, but deadly when it is out of control. My FYP is plain perplexing. It is a never ending project, it is intricate. As cool as it looks, the problem is probably just as much. But since I have chosen it, i'll just embrace it and hopefully it works out without jeopardizing my future.
Went to watch Andrew Lloyd Webber theatrical event at Regents. It was a rather nice place, a lot more classy than the Princess (I think). We got cheap tickets, but had dress circle seating. It was a good show, did not know Andrew composed such many good songs. Then I heard that he has much scandals too, I guess people who are talented always have other issues.
Regent Theatre
Cookie time... An obese star-shaped cookie.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Counting the days in Sydney
Counting my last few days in Sydney.
It's been a great experience. I have done my presentation, but I'll just repeat myself, I really did enjoy myself in Sydney and working at Mac.Awesome experience, meeting great people, learning more-than-what-your-mind-can-perceive technologies, working with helpful mates, strolling the city alone by myself. Prodigious experience.
Hmm, something i learnt there is a misconception of everyone towards Malaysian. Telling people you are Malaysian, they assume you are Malay. They do not know who are Malays, but it started to dawn upon me that I do not know who really Malays are too.
Malays are the original citizens of the Malaya when Chinese was still immigrants. So basically Malays are citizens of Malaysia, explains the words Australians - citizens of Australia. So when we fought for Independence, and Chinese became citizens and part of the country, why are we still called Chinese? Why is there the occurrence of calling people by race in Malaysia. If Malays were called Malays because they were citizen of Malaya, why do we have Malaysian Chinese and Malaysian Indian? Why are judged based by our own people? Aren't we just all Malays, but we aren't....
It's been a great experience. I have done my presentation, but I'll just repeat myself, I really did enjoy myself in Sydney and working at Mac.Awesome experience, meeting great people, learning more-than-what-your-mind-can-perceive technologies, working with helpful mates, strolling the city alone by myself. Prodigious experience.
Hmm, something i learnt there is a misconception of everyone towards Malaysian. Telling people you are Malaysian, they assume you are Malay. They do not know who are Malays, but it started to dawn upon me that I do not know who really Malays are too.
Malays are the original citizens of the Malaya when Chinese was still immigrants. So basically Malays are citizens of Malaysia, explains the words Australians - citizens of Australia. So when we fought for Independence, and Chinese became citizens and part of the country, why are we still called Chinese? Why is there the occurrence of calling people by race in Malaysia. If Malays were called Malays because they were citizen of Malaya, why do we have Malaysian Chinese and Malaysian Indian? Why are judged based by our own people? Aren't we just all Malays, but we aren't....
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Jan 2011
Its the start of the new year, and the end of the new month.
Welcome 2011. And goodbye Jan 2011.
3 more weeks before I finish my internship, 3 more weeks before I bid Sydney good bye, 3 more weeks before i start my final year, 3 more weeks for a perilous, grueling year ahead to welcome ahead.
Counting down the weeks, its been 9 weeks of internship. I realized I enjoy working, but dislike the 9 to 5 hours. I learnt to know more about my interest, but became unsure of my future. This 9 weeks has bestowed me knowledge and experience that made things both complicated and simple. Java, HTML, CSS, libraries are just the few things that I have learnt, not to mention the full exposure to Sydney, Aussie and its culture. I took a big leap, and looking back, I realised there are things that can changed, but there are still things that cant be changed.
Updates on Sydney:
Went to Power House Museum, its not a museum that generates power, its a Museum filled with science, technology, fashion, music etc. It was quite an eye opener, I must say.
Went to see Power Plant at the Chinese Garden. It incorporates nature with lights and sounds.
Went to Coogee Beach during Australia Day and manage to catch the fireworks at Darling Harbour. It was not as big scale as NYE, but I reckon this is nice in its own way. It has more distinctive patterns.
Welcome 2011. And goodbye Jan 2011.
3 more weeks before I finish my internship, 3 more weeks before I bid Sydney good bye, 3 more weeks before i start my final year, 3 more weeks for a perilous, grueling year ahead to welcome ahead.
Counting down the weeks, its been 9 weeks of internship. I realized I enjoy working, but dislike the 9 to 5 hours. I learnt to know more about my interest, but became unsure of my future. This 9 weeks has bestowed me knowledge and experience that made things both complicated and simple. Java, HTML, CSS, libraries are just the few things that I have learnt, not to mention the full exposure to Sydney, Aussie and its culture. I took a big leap, and looking back, I realised there are things that can changed, but there are still things that cant be changed.
Updates on Sydney:
Went to Power House Museum, its not a museum that generates power, its a Museum filled with science, technology, fashion, music etc. It was quite an eye opener, I must say.
Went to see Power Plant at the Chinese Garden. It incorporates nature with lights and sounds.
Went to Coogee Beach during Australia Day and manage to catch the fireworks at Darling Harbour. It was not as big scale as NYE, but I reckon this is nice in its own way. It has more distinctive patterns.
Saturday, January 01, 2011
Sydney NYE 2011
Week 5 into my internship in Sydney. Life is good, except my close friends aren't here to celebrate New Year Eve with me. Work is rather hard I would say, I never realised going into a field which is not your undergrad degree can be so hard. But work is starting to get more interesting with my new project. So far, Sydney is looking great, except with the influx of humans in Sydney. So far I have been to Blue Mountain, Bondi Beach and Manly Beach, Sydney Opera House, Glebe, USyd, Art Gallery... Sydney is just HUGE! :)
New Year eve celebration was really good. I spent 7 hours waiting for the new year eve's fireworks which lasted for 15 minutes, but it was really worth it.
Wednesday, December 08, 2010
RIP Uncle Tim
It breaks my heart knowing that you are no longer here with us. I hope you rest in peace, knowing that many of us misses you a lot; reminiscences the past, with old memories pouring in. You always seems so cheerful, very chatty but it kills the silence. I have known you for 5 years; I miss those weekends where you'll try to smoke and Serene and I will hide your cigarette, which then you decide to hide it away from us, in your socks maybe. I miss those weekends, where I come to CW and we go out for supper and lunch, sometimes dinner. The only regret I have, is not throwing all our cigarette away, but one thing is for sure, I am really glad to have known you.
RIP
RIP
Saturday, December 04, 2010
Sydney Week 1
1 week done, 11 weeks to go. New place, new company, new friends, new roommates new experience. I have really enjoyed my new working place, my new colleagues, except for my new house, I really enjoy Sydney a lot. Working here is a different experience from my previous internship. The people are really nice, and friendly. Which makes me feel really really guilty and obliged when they actually try to accommodate my given task to my ability and actually spend time on giving me a good working/learning experience. They actually are willing to, despite their really really busy schedule.
First week done, I have not started anything yet, but i really like my new working place. It has a really awesome environment, different from the others. People would not want to leave after they work there, i assure you.
Coming to Sydney is about working, but travelling, sightseeing being a tourist not only as a interstate visitor but an international visitor. Sydney is so much bigger and nicer than Melbourne, or I am just being bias. But I am really liking here, despite the lonesome part. Having to go out with Carmen and her family was a great time. Eating seafood at the Fish Market, visiting the Art Gallery to see the tarracota army, seeing the Opera House was a great time. Next up, i so have to sit on a cruise before i head back to Sydney
First week done, I have not started anything yet, but i really like my new working place. It has a really awesome environment, different from the others. People would not want to leave after they work there, i assure you.
Coming to Sydney is about working, but travelling, sightseeing being a tourist not only as a interstate visitor but an international visitor. Sydney is so much bigger and nicer than Melbourne, or I am just being bias. But I am really liking here, despite the lonesome part. Having to go out with Carmen and her family was a great time. Eating seafood at the Fish Market, visiting the Art Gallery to see the tarracota army, seeing the Opera House was a great time. Next up, i so have to sit on a cruise before i head back to Sydney